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The (Outdated) Frequently Asked Questions

Updated on July 7, 2020.  None of this is relevant anymore, so mostly ignore this page.

GENERAL FAQ

TRAVEL FAQ

WEDDING DAY FAQ

 

GENERAL FAQ



Is it safe enough for me to attend this wedding?

That's difficult to predict at the moment, but we're (mostly) confident that things will be a bit better pandemic-wise by the end of summer (in September). That is why we decided to postpone to October.



What sort of social distancing practices will be employed?

We will require that all guests entering the church to keep their mask on at ALL TIMES. In order to facilitate this, we'll be handing out Star Wars-themed face masks at the door!

St. Patrick's is a fairly large church with very high ceilings, so it will be easy to maintain physical distancing between groups of guests. Communion (lining up to receive the Eucharist) will likely be prohibited, and singing will be discouraged, with the exception of the church soloist.

E&O Restaurant is also a fairly large restaurant (by SF standards), with a capacity of 250 people, so assuming SF restaurants will be permitted to have 50% indoor capacity (or max cap at 100), there will be plenty of opportunities to physically distance.



How many guests are you expecting?

We invited 230 guests. Over half of these are from out of the area, so given the situation, we're not expecting many of those to attend. That said, we're looking at somewhere between 50 and 100, mostly Bay Area guests.



Is this really a Star Wars-themed wedding?

Yes! The wedding ceremony won’t be very visibly themed, as it is a proper Catholic mass after all. But there will be touches of the Force here and there. The wedding reception will definitely be themed, so be prepared for the surprises we have in store for everyone.



May I bring a plus-one?

Unless your invitation explicitly names your guest, you may NOT bring a plus-one. This also goes for family as well. In general, we did not invite plus ones unless the guest is married, engaged, cohabiting, or we are friends with the plus one.



Is there a wedding registry?

No. Vietnamese weddings do not do registries.



Why does this website look so awful in my browser?

Mary is, and always has been, a back-end software engineer, with terrible UI skills. Also, haven't you heard? The 90s are back.

 

 

 

TRAVEL FAQ:



Where do I fly in?

San Francisco (SFO) is the easiest and obvious choice, followed by Oakland (OAK).  Occasionally, OAK is cheaper, plus you avoid the frequent fog delays at SFO.  SF is accessible to both airports via BART (the subway).



Where can I stay?

St. Patrick’s Church has a dozen different hotels in a 2 block radius.  We will be staying at the Marriott Marquis San Francisco.  We have arranged a hotel block there, with rooms available for Thursday, October 1 to Sunday, October 4:

 

Marriott Marquis (right next door to St. Patrick’s)
$159/night
The wedding party will be staying here.  The View Lounge on the top floor has some of the best views of San Francisco.

 

We did have another block at the Grand Hyatt, but we've decided to cancel it since we're honestly no longer expecting a 200 guestlist.

Please refer to the Travel page for the booking link.



If I’m from out of town, how do I get around?

Unfortunately, parking is very expensive in San Francisco, so renting a car is not recommended (unless you have small children or need to go to/from San Jose).  Public transportation (BART and Muni) is recommended, as is using rideshare services (Lyft and Uber).

 

The church, the restaurant, and both hotels are all within easy walking distance of each other.



How safe is San Francisco?

The areas surrounding both St. Patrick’s Church in SOMA (South of Market) and E&O in Union Square get a lot of tourist traffic, so you will be quite safe, even at night.  Just take care to not accidentally wander too far west into the Tenderloin after dark.



What’s the weather like in San Francisco?

If you have never been to SF, you will be quite surprised as to how chilly it gets.  High temperatures in the spring time seldom reach 70 F.  Layers are important, so please pack/dress accordingly.



What are your restaurant recommendations?

Oh man, where to begin?  Seriously, San Francisco is a major culinary destination and there are just SO many good restaurants, it’s hard to choose.

Here’s a random selection of our favorite places:

Interested in some fancy Michelin-star dining?

If you’re staying in SOMA and are looking for cheap eats, the food court at both the Metreon and Westfield Mall are both pretty decent.

 

 

WEDDING DAY FAQ



Is there parking at the church or restaurant?

The St. Patrick’s Church has a parking garage, the Jessie Square Garage, directly under it (enter from Stevenson Street).  The 5th and Mission Parking Garage is also recommended.  However, please be aware that these are both paid parking garages and parking in SF is quite expensive.

 

E&O Kitchen is right next door to the Sutter-Stockton Parking Garage.  From 6pm to midnight, parking is $2 an hour.  Due to its proximity to Union Square and Chinatown, street parking is not recommended.

 

Using Uber/Lyft is HIGHLY recommended.

 



What time should I arrive to the wedding ceremony?

The wedding mass will start promptly at 2:00pm.  However, PLEASE arrive 30 minutes early to allow time for parking, seating, and people watching.  Mary’s youngest sister Mai will be performing some Star War pieces on the piano in the wedding prelude, starting at 1:30pm.  You may speak quietly amongst yourselves and enjoy the music.



I’ve never been to a Catholic wedding before.  What should I expect and do?

The wedding will be less than an hour long.  We will be doing the abridged version of the Catholic wedding, so no communion.  There will still be a lot of standing up, sitting down, and kneeling.  The Vietnamese/bride side is completely Catholic, so follow their cues.

 

Things you should NOT do during mass:

 

  • Use your phone.  We ask that you turn your cell phone off and keep it in your pocket or purse during the ceremony.  This also means no picture taking as well.
  • Eat or drink.  Don’t be smuggling alcohol into the church (I’m looking at you, fam), there is plenty of free booze later at the reception.
  • Stand on the pews (the wooden benches) or the padded kneelers.
  • Have conversations.

 

Protip #1: Catholic masses usually have a prayer where everyone holds hands, followed by greeting the people by shaking their hand. THIS IS A BAD IDEA NOW. DON'T DO THIS.

Protip #2: Nobody will judge if you say "Force be with you". Probably.



Will the wedding mass be in English?

Yes.  Mary’s uncle is officiating, and he is very fluent in English.  There will be some Vietnamese used (mostly for the benefit of Mary’s older relatives), but will be translated by him.



What is the dress code?

The general dress code is “semi-formal”.  Since the wedding is inside a church, suits for men are recommended, as are modest dresses for women.  Cleavage and short hemlines (mid-thigh or higher) won't get you kicked out but may elicit some serious side-eye.

 

However, for the reception, you can go all out with your outfit.



Wait, does this mean I can change outfits?  Do I have to change outfits?

You can if you’d like.  In Vietnamese culture, women traditionally wear the “ao dai” (the Vietnamese dress) to the ceremony and then change into a more modern party outfit for the reception.



What colors should I wear?  Are there are any colors to avoid?

You can wear whatever color you’d like, aside from the obvious white.  Mary will be wearing red (the traditional Vietnamese bride color) to the reception, so maybe avoid red for the reception only.



Since this is a Star Wars wedding, can I show up in costume?

For the wedding mass, no.  For the wedding reception, YES. But only if it's a Star Wars costume and none of this Star Trek nonsense. The Stormtroopers might give you trouble.



Can I bring my lightsaber?

Again, for the wedding mass, no.  For the wedding reception, YES.



Will you two be in costume?

That’s a surprise :)



Why is there a gap in the time between the wedding mass and the reception?

Catholic Churches typically don’t allow late afternoon or evening weddings, because there is usually a Saturday evening mass at 5pm.  This means a 2pm wedding mass start time and a 3pm end time.  We get an hour afterwards for pictures, but we have to clear out by 4pm so that the church can prepare for their Saturday evening mass.  It sucks, but that’s how it is.



What can I do in the 3 hour gap between the wedding mass and the reception?

That’s really up to you.  If you’re family, you are pretty much obligated to stick around for photos (for up to an hour).  This is also a good opportunity to go back to your hotel room (if you have one) to relax and change clothes (if desired).  Otherwise, there are many things to do nearby:

  • Union Square shopping (every major high end designer brands are here)
  • Westfield Centre Shopping Mall
  • The AMC Metreon or Century San Francisco Centre 9 movie theaters
  • SF MOMA (closes at 5pm though)
  • The Museum of Ice Cream (although maybe don’t jump inside the sprinkle pit in your nice outfit)
  • The Ferry Building (similar to Pike Place Market, except indoors)
  • Chinatown



What will the food be like?

E&O Kitchen and Bar is a pan-Asian fusion restaurant.  The menu is drawn from the cuisines of India, Southwest Asia, China, Korea, etc.  The cocktail hour, which starts at 6, will include hors d'oeuvres.  For the sit-down, family-style dinner includes 3 courses and includes a variety of Asian dishes.  And yes, there will be an OPEN BAR, last call at 10:30pm.



What if I have dietary restrictions?

Since dishes are served family style, there will be something for everyone.  However, if you are vegetarian/vegan, gluten-free, or have some other allergy, please let us know when RSVPing and we can make sure that certain dishes will be available to your assigned table.



Will there be an after-party?

You bet. We will be doing some late night karaoke at Mary's favorite karaoke bar:

The Mint
1942 Market St.
San Francisco, CA 94102

 

This is an open karaoke lounge--no rooms and very public. We will have reserved space in the back for us, starting at 11pm. There is a full bar, so bring some cash for your drinks and song requests, and let's sing the night away (until 2am).